Wednesday, October 3, 2012

The Door of Mourning

 Sadness closes in on me
like a door being shut.
On the other side is happiness, 
joy, singing & laughter.
There is no lock on this door,
so I can open it at anytime.
But for now I'll just sit here
in the dark, in the silence.
Until my ears adjust & I can 
once again hear the celebration
that is taking place on the other side.
Then I'll stand up, reach for the door knob,
turn it & open the door.
I'll step through into the warmth
of the sunlight & once again 
join the singing & laughing.
But I'm not ready just yet.
So I'll just sit here & wait,
& mourn behind the door. 

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 
 There is a time for everything,
  and a season for every activity under the heavens:
    a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
    a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
    a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
    a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
    a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
    a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
    a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.

I wrote this poem after losing a beloved family dog, Dixie.  Even though she was "just a dog", she really was so much more - to us.  Grieving is a necessary part of loss.  Grief has taken me places before where it became a trap instead of a process.  I won't let that happen this time.  I'm not going to pretend that my heart isn't broken and that I'm not extremely sad.  But I'm not going to allow myself to live in this place again.  I will give myself time.  There will be a day, soon, when I'm ready to stand up and open that door. 


Kathleen Hoffman said...

Your poem is beautiful! There should be no shame in grieving for a beloved animal. Some of our dogs and cats live with us for 20 years (sometimes longer than marriages last). And they love us so much! Thanks for sharing your poetry.

Christy said...

Kathleen, thank you for your kind words. Healing has arrived for me and we are praying for God to send us another beloved pet. :)