Have you ever struggled with organizing your thoughts? Do you ever get so easily distracted that you can't complete a thought much less communicate it? Yeah, me too. There are a few things I've wanted to blog about, but when I try to express one, I start thinking about something else. I thought that maybe if I sat down and started typing them out, it might help - even if they are incomplete. Maybe I'll just post the thoughts without elaborating on them. We'll see how it goes.
Thought One: Why do we take for granted those closest to us?
Thought Two: Why do we stop keeping in touch with friends? For some reason an old pen-pal came to my mind last night. This was a person I went to school with for a brief period of time, but we really hit it off. After he moved away we kept in touch through writing letters (long before the days of facebook!). We did this for about two years, then all of a sudden stopped. For the life of me, I can't remember why.
Thought Three: Why am I stuck in a spiritual holding pattern - again!?
Thought Four: Why do I not do something (I don't like how I worded that, but can't think of a better way) unless I can devote ALL of my time to it? For instance:
I'm attempting to research and record my family's genealogy, but I've come to a stand still.
I started to look into "the Law" and why we no longer follow every guideline that was given by God (see this post) but because of the overwhelming number of verses that mention "the Law", I have not pursued that study. In my mind if I'm not able to sit down in a room full of open books, note pads and pencils with nothing else to do but study a particular subject, well then, I shouldn't even bother at all! I mean, I have children to teach, feed, etc. I have a house to clean, laundry to wash, groceries to buy, bills to pay. I don't have time to study my family's past generations or even God's Law for that matter! Seriously! That's how my mind works. I tell myself that if I can't give God at least an hour of study time, then I shouldn't do any. I mean, He deserves more than 5-10 minutes a day - that's an insult! So, I'll admit my short comings and refuse to play the "I gave God some time today" game (which is the reason for number three, I'm sure). Sick, isn't it? I know some of you will say this is the "perfectionist" in me. Here's a list of the ten telltale traits of a perfectionist.
I feel like a hamster in a wheel running, running, running, but getting no where!