Well, I have another confession to make. Friday when I went to meet some friends at Starbucks, I felt the prompting of the Holy Spirit to buy coffee for the man standing in line behind me. I told my friend this, and then I started getting nervous, you know, second guessing the whole "conviction" thing. I felt awkward and I worried whether the man would think I was hitting on him or something. Then I saw him talking to a lady beside him and thought that she might get upset with me (you know, if he was her man and all). So, I talked myself out of buying the guy's coffee. I told my friend that later on in the day I would "share the love" with someone else. Well, I didn't. I didn't see another opportunity that day.
Last night our church had a deacon ordination service. The men being ordained were up front and their wives were seated across from them. The leading pastor requested that all other ordained men in the congregation come and pray over the men who were being ordained. While this was going on, I again felt the prompting of the Holy Spirit. This time I felt that I needed to go forward and pray over the wives (my husband is an ordained deacon). Well, once again I didn't do what I felt the Holy Spirit telling me to do. This time my rationalization was that I wasn't invited to go forward and pray over the women as the men were, so since I'm a woman, I'd better not do something like that. Instead I prayed for the women where I was seated. So why am I second guessing the Holy Spirit? I pray so often for God to speak to me, so when He does, why am I ignoring Him?
I'm currently reading through the book of Hebrews because a friend of mine, Ninfa, is reading through it as well. I thought it would be nice for us to read it together, even though she is way south of me now since she recently moved. Anyway, today I read in Hebrews 3:7 "So as the Holy Spirit says: 'Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as you did in the rebellion, during the time of testing in the desert, where your fathers tested and tried me and for forty years saw what I did'." Again in verse 15 it says, "Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as you did in the rebellion." I feel like crud because I didn't obey Friday or yesterday, when it was my "today". I really hate that I hardened my heart. Thankfully, God is merciful and kind, and will give me another chance. I guess I shared these things because hopefully whoever reads it will be encouraged to listen and obey "today".