Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Things I just can't forget


I'll try not to draw this post out because it's a downer. For the past few days I have been reliving the painful period of when my mom collapsed from a ruptured brain aneurysm and the followings days in the hospital. These are things I would rather forget, but can't. Naturally I've been really down and out lately. I miss my mom so much it hurts. I miss just being able to pick up the phone and call her for no reason. I miss our Friday shopping days. I miss seeing her in church. I miss her spaghetti. I miss my kids getting to be with her and having her spoil them rotten. She's been gone a year and a half now. It's cliche to say, I know, but it seems like only yesterday and yet it seems like forever at the same time. She was my best friend. The picture is of us in 1989. I keep it on my computer desk.

10 comments:

Melissa said...

Nor do you need to forget these things. I feel your pain. I had an out of the blue emotional breakdown tonight! I called my mom on my way home tonight and just cried for no reason about missing Tori. It sometimes just hits me that she is really gone and I will not be able to hold her or kiss her again (on this earth anyway). That in itself is enough to send me into an emotional flutter, much less everything else I think about along with that fact. There is so much that I cannot forget either, and I hope I (we) never do. Much love and empathy.

Mandie said...

It is bittersweet to remember loved ones. Bitter because they are gone, but sweet because 1. we have the memories, and 2. we will see them again! It is great to grieve with hope. :)

You look just like your mom by the way!

Terry said...

I don't really have words to express my sorrow for you, but I will be praying for your comfort.

Mork said...

Peace.

Potpourri of Praise said...

Please know that I will be praying for you.

Brenda said...

I'm sorry you're feeling sad and missing your mom. I have no idea how much that must hurt. Thanks for sharing those nice memories and the picture. Praying for you.

bub said...

In a couple of weeks it will be a year since my dad passed. I inherited his car after he passed away. I haven't changed a thing in the interior (the car itself, the transmission, battery, headlight, rear view mirror, lol). It's still all him. Which is the way I think I'll keep it. Lots of prayers headed out to you from here. God bless.

Anonymous said...

You'll never forget everything. I have gone through the same lately, as I actually was waiting for my mom to call on my birthday and she passed away, 4 years ago on Valentines day and I was there. Or the chance to talk to my dad again, he was an anchor for me and he passed 20 yrs ago September. Just keep in my the good times and the love you shared and hold that close to your heart.
BTW, that is a beautiful picture.
Keep smiling. Jeanne

Southerner said...

It is all really still fresh upon you and you are now entering the second year of events without her. The first year it seems like each holiday is thought of as the first without them. It is true that as time goes on it will still hurt but will become more easily managed. Try to take every thought captive and when you remember them remember the good times. When your thoughts turn to feeling like you have been slighted now that they are gone that is where you need to take thoughts captive and turn it to God. Remind yourself that God has a purpose and find joy in the fact that God is using that awful sad time to work something bigger. When you feel like you can't walk it any longer you just have to hang on to the fact that God is there(when it feels like He is not) and He cares (when it feels like no one does) and that one day you will see why. Satan will use a lot of arrows to cause you to turn away from your walk at the moment and focus on your feelings. In our study we learned that the shield didn't just protect it was coated with something that extinguished the flaming arrows. Stay behind the shield because anything left out is open for the enemy.

Caryn said...

Christy,

I am so glad that I had the privilege of meeting your Mom. Brenda was beautiful inside and out, and she loved you so much. We had a conversation about that just a few days before she went to be with Jesus. God did so much those last couple of years in and through her life, and you were a big part of why God was able to work through her in the way that He did. You were willing to testify of your faith in Christ to Brenda and to your step-dad, and God was so faithful to bring them to Him through your obedience.

"Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." Philippins 4:8

I love you!