Thursday, April 10, 2008

not so happy anniversary

Yesterday was the one-year mark of my mother and grandmother's passing. Thankfully I had plans with some of my family, or else I wouldn't have gotten out of bed at all yesterday. I met up with my brother, Matt, Aunt Carol, Aunt Suzy and Caitie, my cousin. We went to lunch at an Italian restaurant in the Five Points area, which is close to the cemetary where my mom and grandmother are buried. After we had lunch we went to the cemetary to put new flowers on the graves. Someone had already been to Mom's and added some pretty yellow flowers. I think it must have been my step-dad. He had to go out-of-town earlier this week and probably realized he wouldn't be here on the day. Well, the day was bitter sweet. Bitter because we all miss our loved ones tremendously. Sweet because we were together and we remembered the good times. It was also bitter to me and my brother, Matt, because Daniel, our other brother, wasn't there. He doesn't stay in touch with any of us and is pretty much a recluse. Even though we try to reach out to him, he just doesn't respond. So I've worried about him and wondered how he is dealing with all of this if at all. Again it was also sweet beause the day was beautiful and the cemetary is abundant in dog wood trees still in bloom. The photo above is the last time we were all together with Mom. She is standing next to me. Matt is beside her and Daniel is on the couch holding one of his twin babies. That's my step-dad on the far right sitting on the couch.

I don't know if I've ever shared the details of what happened with my mom and grandmother or not. Most of you know because you were there. If you don't know, and you're curious, here's a link to a website where I shared the experience. You'll need to scroll down until you see my name. It's not feel-good reading, so be warned.

Many of you tell me on almost a daily basis that you are praying for me and my family. I can't tell you how important that is to me and how your prayers are what sustains me. God, family and friends are my life support! And music! Yesterday I listened to Mom's favorite CD, which is also my favorite CD, by Don Moen. It is a praise and worship CD and honestly I felt like it helped me breath! Thank God for the gift of music!
It's another beautiful day - praise the Lord! I hope you all enjoy it. Thanks for reading my blogs. Thanks for your friendship. I love you all.

1 comment:

Trisha said...

It breaks my heart you went through all that1! I can't tell you how many times, I've thought about Mary Lou, Jerry's Mom, passing away at this time of year and thought of all you went through! It is such a painful anniversary to handle.
It seems like the pain will never go away and there is nothing anyone can do to help. It was truly a God thing when I started realizing just how merciful he was with Mary Lou. All of the pain she felt in her body, what her life may have been like, God was just reassuring me that he does love us, his timing is perfect,(although not with pain). He has a way of using everything, good and bad, happy and painful, for His ultimate glory. I never thought I would say this, but "Thank you God for taking her when you did and how you did."
She is so much better off and I've learned to lean on God more and more. I hope that is where you are now. If not, keep praying and seeking and you WILL get there.
Love you,