Yesterday I felt like I was treading water. It was all I could do to keep my head above the water of life (oooo - that's deep! Pun intended, of course). Why, you ask? Well, for one I'm missing my mom terribly. It's been almost a year! Can you believe it? April 9th, 2007, is the day my mom and my grandmother died and I can't believe it has been almost a year already. To me, and I'm sure the rest of my family, it seems like yesterday. Another reason I struggled yesterday is b/c of all this garden stuff. I have researched, read, researched, read and then researched and read again. There is SO much stuff to do just to get started! I'm tired just thinking about it all. The kids and I actually went to a greenhouse yesterday to look for seed. There's a greenhouse just down the street from us, so I walked and the kids rode their bikes. When we got there and I saw the seed display, I stood there and stared blankly. All of the seed packets looked alike to me! I could not distinguish carrots from turnips despite the pictures being RIGHT THERE! My head was swimming and I felt defeated before I could even begin.
You might be wondering why I want a garden so badly. Well, that leads into the next reason I feel like I'm in the deep blue struggling to breathe. All the foods we buy are so contaminated it's scary! That's one of the downfalls of research, I think. Sometimes you can have too much information. I think there's truth in the adage that "ignorance is bliss", you know? Anyway, I want to have a garden so that I know the food hasn't been exposed to pesticides and junk. We've also started buying beef and chickens from a friend who raises them grass-fed only (the cows) and free range (the chickens). We try to buy farm-fresh eggs (not always easy). All of this stuff is not cheap, but I feel it's best. Then again, part of me wonders if it is worth all the trouble. After all, we are living on this earth temporarily - why should it matter? And so on and on my mind goes... I'm drowning!