Wednesday, January 30, 2008

sharing a post from my journal

I wrote this a while back (duh, you can tell by the date, sorry). It's one of a few things that I have wanted to share w/ others but didn't really know how. Now that I have this blog spot I thought, "Why not?". So here you go.

June 11, 2005

I can’t imagine why God would want to have me write down my thoughts, but for a while now I have felt that for some reason, maybe I should. I’m not anyone particularly special or overly intelligent; just someone that loves God and wants to hear His voice. When He speaks to me, I’m in awe! I try to dwell on everything that I hear so that I can retain it for as long as possible. I suppose that is why God has encouraged me to start a journal, because He knows my mind cannot contain it all!

Well, I will just start with the most current and then later on I’ll catch up with a few things He has told me in the past. But just a moment ago, God convicted me and showed me that I have had a hardened heart toward so many people, and I didn’t even realize it!

Last night I had a dream (you will hear me say that often, because the Lord talks to me through dreams). I was at home with my two children when a stranger pulled into my neighbor’s driveway with MY van full of MY clothes! I didn’t understand this, so I started over there to gather a few things that I needed. In the meantime, another stranger pulled into MY driveway and let out two children with their pillows and sleeping bags and then just started to leave! I didn’t know these children or the driver of the car, so I told my neighbor, who had come out by now, “Excuse me, but I don’t even now who that kid is!” So, I go back home and ask the oldest, who is a girl, “Do I know you?” She says that her brother had played with my children at our house one time. “Your brother played at my house one time? Who is your brother?” In the meantime, the mother of the child keeps driving around my house in her car, waiting to see what I’m going to do. The little girl just keeps giving me the same answer, only adds that her mom said that she and her little brother could spend the night with us. I say, “I don’t even know who you are; you can’t just spend the night with us because your brother played over here one day!” As I am saying this I look at them both, the girl is dirty and the little boy is not wearing any clothes and he looks as if he is retarded or very ill in some way, so now I’m really not wanting them to stay. By now the mother has driven away and I can’t catch her to tell her the children cannot stay with me.

There are a few other crazy things that happen in the dream, that I won’t bore you with, but here is what the Lord showed me from this dream… while reading from a few on-line devotionals this morning, one of the devotionals was about true spiritual growth. The Scripture given was James 1:17-27. These verses tell us to be doers of the word and not hearers only. The devotional elaborated on how when Jesus was here on the earth, He not only taught the Word, He DID the Word! He saw the people’s needs and He met them. He reached out and touched those who were dirty and sick. He helped those who were poor and helpless. Jesus never turned anyone away because they were “beneath” Him. He came to serve them! Now, I know that this is not news to most of you reading this; it isn’t news to me either! But sometimes, we just don’t GET IT for some reason until it is said in a certain way, you know? God showing me through the dream - showing me myself standing there looking at those children with disgust, really brought it home. I know some of you may think, “It was only a dream. You probably saw it in a movie or something”. No, I truly believe that is what has been in my heart of hearts, or else I would not have been so convicted when I read God’s word in James 1:17-27 this morning! The Word is living and powerful and sharper than any two-edged sword! There is no denying the power of the Word of God!

So, yippee! What do you do with this wonderful revelation? I don’t know. Maybe you wish you hadn’t wasted your time reading this story, article, whatever. Or maybe God has convicted you of having a hard heart towards those less fortunate than yourself. Have you been a doer of the Word lately? Have you even been a hearer of the Word? It’s hard to be a doer if you’re not even a hearer! OUCH! That hurt me, too!

I’m not trying to come down on you, that’s not my job. I’m here only to encourage you by letting you know that you’re not the only one out there going through stuff. God knows and He cares. Now, I babble. I will continue later when I know that God is talking and I’m not!

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